About half of all married couples in the United States will go through a divorce. That number is quickly rising.
Given those odds, that trend, and the fact you’re reading this post, you’re likely struggling through or have just finished a divorce of your own. That may have made it so for the first time in a long time, you’re coming home to an empty house which can be devastating.
Living alone after divorce is one of the hardest parts of the separation process for many that nobody seems to talk about. If you’re struggling through silence, feelings of rejection, and that pervasive thought that there’s no point to life, keep reading.
Below, we share some pragmatic tips on how you can get the most out of this time and get through it.
Keep Your Place Clean
How you feel is directly connected to your environment. If your environment is both lonely and messy, you’re setting yourself up to feel horrendous.
While you may not be able to deal with the loneliness part of your living situation, the messy part can be remedied by making sure to pick up after yourself, making your bed, washing the dishes, etc.
It may seem pointless to be tidy when you only have yourself to watch out for. Believe us when we say though that “yourself” is enough to justify the effort.
Get on a Routine
Positive distractions are going to be your best friend as you get through the first few months or perhaps years of your isolation. So, get on a routine that takes up most of your day.
Things like waking up early to work out, eating breakfast while reading the paper, going to work, cooking dinner every night, and other tasks will suck up your day and leave you with less time to sit and lament on how life isn’t where you want it to be.
There is a certain healthy aspect to self-reflection. Having most of your day be about reflecting though is a recipe for serious depression right after a divorce.
Work on Yourself
There’s likely to be a pretty big lapse between the partner that you lost and your next one. The best thing to do during that in-between time is to ensure that when you meet your next special someone, you’re better than you were before.
Think about what flaws you have. What things bother you about yourself? What things bothered your partner? Which of those things are worth fixing?
With a few months to focus on becoming better, you may be able to set yourself up to attract someone that you never thought you could have in your life.
You may have a lot of thoughts spiraling through your mind while living alone after divorce.
Many of those thoughts are going to be negative and some may be downright dangerous. A low-hanging way to get those thoughts out of your head and out on paper so you can more objectively assess them is through journaling.
If you’re a pen and paper kind of person, pick up a spiral notebook and make it a point to write every evening. If you’re a digital person, download an application like Evernote and commit to writing there.
If nothing else, when you’re one day in a better place, it may be interesting to look back on your entries to see how far you’ve come.
Don’t Give Into Pressure to Make Amends
You and your former partner have taken the resolute step of getting a divorce.
Let that be final so you can move on with your life. Do not let the loneliness you’re likely feeling drive you back to them.
If you and your partner are meant to get back together it needs to be for deeper reasons than you not being able to be alone.
Create Social Opportunities With Your Friends
Many that are struggling with living alone after divorce expect their friends to come charging in to take care of them. The truth is though, at this age, friends have their own priorities and won’t likely be as proactive as you’d like when it comes to engaging with you.
Don’t feel slighted by that. Instead, you take the initiative to invite friends over or out.
In situations like that one you’re in, the worst thing you can do is sit around waiting for something to happen. You need to be the one to create new and special opportunities for yourself.
Get Professional Support
A great way to break up living alone loneliness is to make it a point to regularly seek professional support. We’re not talking about support from that qualified domestic relations order Texas attorney that helped you get a favorable divorce settlement. We’re talking about emotional support via a qualified therapist.
Not only can a therapist help you sort through the feelings you’re experiencing but it’s just nice to have a regular conversation on your calendar that forces you to interact.
After all, it can be easy to isolate at this point in your life.
Start Dating Again
The beauty about living alone after divorce is that, chances are, when you want your solitude to end you can end it.
There are millions of people out there that are similarly lonely and would love to be in a relationship with you.
The only barrier between you and finding that person is your readiness and a little bit of effort.
Living Alone After Divorce Can Be a Valuable Experience If You’ll Let It
It’s rarely easy living alone after divorce. The good news is that no matter the impact it’s having on you, it presents a great opportunity to become a better person.
Do what you can to improve during this time and keep yourself healthy. Then, when the time is right, invite a new person into your life.
We’re confident that in time, you’ll find happiness again.
For more advice on being happy in your home/life, read more of the newest content on our blog.