Few things can change your life more than finding out your spouse is a cheater. Not only does this event cause heartbreak and frustration, but it also creates legal and financial problems. Leaving your cheating husband means hiring divorce lawyers, separating your bank accounts, and even selling your home. You need to be sure that your suspicions are correct before you move forward.
Follow these steps if you suspect your spouse is cheating on you.
Document suspicious behavior
The first thing to do is to start tracking the suspicious behavior of your partner. What are they doing that is different from the norm? How is their behavior changing?
For example, a cheater will become more secretive in their movements. They might be unaccounted for throughout the day or suddenly have plans at night. A cheater might also receive calls from unknown phone numbers which they refuse to answer around you.
Start to make a note of these suspicious movements and then follow up with them. For example, if your partner says they spent the night hanging out with a friend, call that friend and ask to verify the story.
By documenting these activities, you can create a trail of evidence against the cheater which you can potentially use in court.
Use technology to your advantage
Do your research on your spouse to learn more about them. A cheater is often protective of his cell phone because he doesn’t want you to see his social media pages or text messages. If your husband won’t let you near his iPhone, you need to get creative. Look for online tools that allow you to learn more about your significant other that they might not have told you. There are specific tools that are meant to help people catch a cheater with concrete evidence.
If you do have access to their cell phone, try to collect proof of their infidelity. This could include screenshots of conversations, call logs, or recordings of voicemails. There are some spy apps that will allow you to gather this information and track their GPS location to help you build a case against them for a divorce.
Don’t neglect your mental health
A cheating spouse can create stress in your life. You can start to wonder if you are the problem or what you did to drive your significant other away. Stop these thoughts. Know that you are enough and no one deserves to be cheated on.
Take time to practice self-care as you prepare to confront your spouse about their cheating. Get a manicure and gel pedicure at your local salon. Schedule a massage to work out your stress. You might also want to sign up for therapy to help you overcome this difficult period in your life.
A level head will help you confront your spouse and move through the divorce. Your spouse has hurt you enough. You don’t have to keep hurting yourself.
Prepare to move forward
Once you know that your spouse is cheating on you, create a plan for the future. Infidelity is rarely a one-time thing. Even if your husband or wife promises to never cheat again, they will likely continue to stray. At the very least, you will always have doubts about their behavior. Whenever you decide to divorce, it’s wise to meet with at least a few lawyers. If you’re looking for a lawyer, you need to make an informed decision despite your emotions. Choosing a lawyer with extensive experience will make your overall experience better.
Find someone to stay with for a few days or pack your spouse’s bags. Make sure you have a source of income and a good lawyer. If you are in an unsafe environment, leave. Take your kids and pets to a local domestic abuse shelter. They will make sure you are safe.
No one wants to discover a cheating spouse, but that doesn’t mean you can ignore this behavior. Get the proof you need and then take steps to make sure you are cared for.