As lifespans increase and more young people are struggling to enjoy financial independence, more and around 23% of Americans in their 40s are caring for both aging parents and their own children. By the time they enter their 50s, smaller shares of these adults are raising children.
Instead, they are sandwiched between aging parents and adult children they are helping financially. What’s more, not all caregivers are women.
In the US, around 40% of them are men, which equates to around 16 million male family caregivers in the US. In the UK, meanwhile, that percentage stands at 42%. Of course, being part of the sandwich generations isn’t necessarily a negative thing.
In fact, around half of adults caring for their parents and kids say they are very satisfied with their family life, compared to 38% of adults in the same age group.
However, there are also many caregivers who are struggling to maintain a good quality of life and avoid burnout.
Making Time for Self-Care
A study by the American Association of Retired Persons has found that caring for two generations at once significantly builds up stress levels, with 50% of caregivers reporting heightened emotional stress and 37% experiencing increased physical stress.
If you are caring for aging parents and you feel overwhelmed, it is particularly vital to make time for self-care. This involves doing what you can to keep yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually healthy.
Key self-care activities to consider include getting at least seven to nine hours of good sleep, practicing mindfulness, spending time in nature, interacting with friends and family, developing a sound financial plan, and embracing lifelong learning.
These activities provide many benefits, including improved physical and mental health, improved productivity and focus, better self-esteem, and greater resilience against burnout.
Ensuring Your Loved One Has the Care They Need
Family caregivers can sometimes feel guilty when they take time for their own work, social, or self-care pursuits.
However, as giving as they may be, many are not trained in areas such as occupational therapy, memory training, physiotherapy, and other specialties that older loved ones may need.
If you are the main caregiver of an older loved one, and you require more time for professional or personal pursuits, consider opting for respite care. The latter involves taking a break from caring while someone else looks after your loved ones.
Senior family members with higher care needs (those at risk of falling or those who are incapable of bathing themselves or cooking a meal) may benefit from the care provided in aged care homes.
Far from being permanent, this option can be temporary (for instance, while your loved one is receiving physiotherapy). Having a loved one in a care home does not mean you cannot visit them, take them to your home, or ensure they attend family gatherings.
Exercise Self-Compassion
When you are caring for a loved one, it is important to avoid setting the bar too high for yourself. One vital tool in the battle against perfectionism is self-compassion—being as kind to yourself as you would to a friend or loved one.
If you find that you are sending yourself negative messages about your ability to care for your loved one, reframe those thoughts into more positive ones. Rely on the power of positive affirmations to enter into a more positive state.
Powerful affirmations include “I am doing the best that I can,” “I am a loving son/grandson,” or “I am making life better for my loved one.”
Caring for a senior loved one can be deeply fulfilling but also challenging. To avoid burnout, make time for self-care.
Consider respite or aged care as a means to ensure your loved gets the best care and you have the time you need to maintain your physical, mental, and financial health. Remember to shun perfectionism and embrace unconditional self-acceptance.
